With the worldwide economic slowdown upon us, what are going to be the “hot trends” of 2009 and beyond?  Well, here are a few things that should be gaining massive popularity in the coming months — be a trend setter and jump on board now!

1.  The Return of the Grunge Look – this was already due to happen soon, due to the 15-20 year “Nostalgia Gap” that always occurs — but this look is much, much cheaper than buying designer duds and expensive, uncomfortable high heels — just hit up your local Goodwill and stock up on Flannel Shirts, they are widely available.  Cardigan sweaters, old blue jeans, thermal underwear, vintage random t-shirts — all of it.  And no more Dry-Cleaning!  The wrinkled, non-ironed look will be back!

2.  Scraggly Toes Are In! — Ladies (and some metros) cut back on those mani/pedis!  Some of you are doing it twice a week!  Let those bunions flourish! Consider Lee Press-On Nails for your fingers!

3.  Keep that old Computer and Cell Phone — iPhone, schmiPhone!  Keep that old PC and Cell Phone ’til they die! Hold off on the constant upgrades.  It will soon be very chic to have a brick-sized cell phone!  England’s Dom Joly is already a trend-setter in this area.

4. No more Gourmet Meals for Fido and Kitty – back to the Dry Kibbles-n-Bits and Meow Mix for our furry friends.  Stop spending more on animal food in a month than most people in Africa spend on rent!  And if things get really bad, you and Buster/Buddy/Champ can share a meal together … yummers!  And if things get REALLY, REALLY bad … well, two words:  stir fry.

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Your thrifty nickel, trend-spotting pal,

Slappy Whyte