“America’s Sweetheart” Miley Cyrus (who likely is trademarked and owned by Disney until 2014, at which point she will be 21 and worthless to them) is not yet 16 years old.

My examination of these leaked pics of her tells me that there is a very high likelihood that she is not a virgin, based on my thorough knowledge of human behavior.  Could I be wrong?  Yes, of course.  But I’d bet I’m right.  By the way, statistics show that 25% of women aged 15 or less have lost their virginity (Source: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, Washington, DC, 1998)

The 2 pics below literally look post-coital … or pre-coital.  Notice the happy glazed-over looks in their eyes and the body language.

And then there are the self pics … they look similar to 1000s of other girls’ pics on facebook and myspace, but certainly not wholesome (below is just one example):

Ok no more of those kinds of pics of her.  That would be creepy (I know, it is already).  But her current Bible-toting, underwear modeling, 20 year old alleged boyfriend Justin Gaston better check the legal status before it goes too far.

Of course, celebs never seem to have those types of normal legal problems, so he probably doesn’t have to worry.   And what about Hayden Panettiere and her 30 year old boyfriend, but I guess she was 18 at the time…  But I would advise Billy Ray to keep a closer eye on his daughter — as a fellow Kentucky boy, he knows how daughters should be raised.  Not to mention the influence she has on literally millions of tweens around the world.

Your non creepy pal,

Slappy Whyte