Pamela Anderson: beautiful, ripped, endearing, and the wet dream of many men born in the 1970s.  Her romantic choices, however, are somewhat misguided.  The longest she’s ever had a marriage stick is three years, one week.

A history:

• She married Tommy Lee on 2.19.95 and filed for divorce on 2.26.98 following allegations of spousal abuse.
• Her marriage to Kid Rock spanned from 7.29.06 to 11.27.06.  Not long, indeed.
• Then - the Rick Salomon disaster lasted from 10.6.07 to 2.22.08.

Now, one might argue that Pam is capricious, or that she’s picking questionable mates.  And this may be true.  But I’ve also got another theory.  You see, the “traditional” gift for the third anniversary is leather. Pam’s an outspoken animal-rights activist and probably avoids leather goods whenever possible.  Distraught at the thought of buying Tommy leather assless chaps, it started a downward spiral.  She couldn’t even get near the three-year mark with her second and third husbands.

Makes sense to me.

Never wasting my conspiracy theories on JFK or aliens,

Lucy Glib